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Controlled Demeanor

05 Mar

demea

i write when i am mad.
I write when i am lonely
I write when i am happy
I write when i am sad

I don’t have a switch
But some days
I bleed out my heart
Bleed out my soul
Endlessly on paper
And words just crawl into paper
In no particular order
In uniform confusion

Some days my mind wants to eat me up
Some days my thoughts want to kill me
Some days my emotions drive me crazy
Some days common sense decides to take a hike

I write when i am mad
I write when i am lonely
I write when i am happy
I write when i am sad

I am a loner
An introvert if you may
And paper is the only lover
I try to disclose myself to

Other days words just wont come
Then i sit there
In a twisted limbo
Waiting for a flare
To set me off
To kick me out of this barren stupor

I write when i am mad
I write when i am lonely
I write when i am happy
I write when i am sad

Some days words come
Some days words leave me
And then i want to yell
But my calm facade just wont crack it

Some days i wish i’d be more showy
Of my bloody emotions
Maybe then someone could get me
And know there’s a real human being
Beneath the controlled demeanor

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Posted by on March 5, 2015 in Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing

 

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