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Coming Out

20 Mar

coming

She is cupping my left breast and teasing my nipple as she stares intently into my eyes. She looks pensive. She is here, but not really with me. I can tell there’s something she wants to tell me but is wrestling with the way to frame it. I let her stew on it for a while. When i can’t wait anymore, i snap at her “ What the fuck is going through your mind?”

She looks at me and makes to smile then goes, “I noticed you’ve grown thin…”

Thin. She said thin, good people. Level with me here. The fact that she was just swooning over me minutes ago and moaning her ass out seems to have totally slipped her mind. She said thin. Really, how do you even describe someone that way.

Well, i might have shed a few pounds, but really, i don’t look like America’s Top Model or one of those Victoria’s Secret models.

“Who are you pining for? Is it him again? You know he is poison in your system. You ought to flush him out for good” she goes on as if she hasn’t seen the storm brewing in my eyes. “Seriously honey, stop doing this to yourself…it’s better to love something that can love you back” she winds up the observation philosophically…no longer tweaking my nipple.

“Coming from a closeted lesbian, that’s rich”, i spit out thoughtlessly. I see the pain in her eyes and feel guilty for a while. Then anger at the truth she just said hits me and i just ignore the feeling.

“You have a way of brushing away reality, that even amazes me. And not a lot amazes me. How long do you intend to be in the closet? I’ll get tired of coming to see you whenever you are horny, and then what? Are you gonna find a girlfriend then?”

She started it. I don’t come with brakes when i start to verbal diarrhea. She looks the other way as if that will make the words less truthful.

“C’mon smartypants. What are you going to do when i move on and actually find a man or a woman to live with. What then? You are fun and all, i admit that. I fell in love with you at some point, but i’m over it”…she gasps at that as i go on with my tirade.

“What do you want?” She says suddenly.

“World peace…gender equality…a million dollars..ice-cream, another fuck…in any order”, i say jokingly.

She is seething in blind rage at that point. I just look at her sheepishly

“I am fucking serious. What do you want?” she goes on without the slightest sign of a smile on her beautiful face. She dimples up even when she is crying. She makes me hot when she is mad.

Well, no one has ever really asked me what i wanted before. I’m feeling a mixture of emotions. But i need to answer her.

“For starters how about you coming out of the closet. You need to live to your full potential and not tied down by society and it’s opinion. I want to get over this creep in my system. I want to be happy. Sounds silly but i do. I want to travel the world and make love on the beach. I want to watch the sun rise and set with someone i love. I could go on, but you are not Oprah” i say without a smile..

“You’ll get your slice of heaven. I know that. You are made of more than you accept. And you are the most stubborn piece of shit i know”, she says with a smile, no longer mad at me.

I notice that she mentions nothing about coming out and i decide to drop it. We’ve had this fight over and over.

“It must be wonderful to have a gift of seeing into the future”, i mutter as we fall over ourselves with deep laughter.

“I feel a migraine developing”, i tell her as i start to dress up.

“You got it the wrong way darling. THAT, comes before the sex,” she says with a shriek, pulling out a cigarette.

As she saunters to the window pane, i put on my sneakers watching her. She has an ass to make your jaws drop.
I manage to break myself from the trance to bolt before her husband comes back. We kiss one last time and the taste of cigarettes and her sweet taste linger long after we part ways.

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Posted by on March 20, 2015 in Erotica, Muse, Writing

 

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